• Julia Sidwell

My husband had a SECRET CHILD

Could you forgive your other half if they had an affair… AND a secret child that you found out about years later? Amparo did. I wrote her story for @WomanMagazine

Do YOU have a cheating story to share? Email #journorequest

Amparo met Peer through a friend and after four years together, they tied the knot in 2001 and had a daughter.

Living in the Philippines, Amparo was determined to move away and get a better life. In 2005 she landed a job as a nurse in the UK and moved here.

Then after six months of being in the UK, Amparo got an email that changed everything.

She said: ‘The email was from Peer’s sister and it said they he’d had an affair. I was so shocked and phoned him. I confronted him and he apologised, but I told he would never see me again.’

Amparo ignored all his phone calls and messages for a week before she decided she couldn’t let a young girl ruin what she and Peer had.

‘I told him that he had to come to the UK to be with me and if he didn’t, our relationship was over for good. Peer arranged a visa, travelled over to be with me and grovelled for my forgiveness.’

Years passed and though Amparo found it difficult to trust Peer, she didn’t regret forgiving him.

She said: ‘In my mind, when you get married you make a commitment. You fight for your relationship, so that’s what I did.’

In 2013, the pair visited the Philippines and while on a boat trip, Amparo got chatting to their best friend who dropped a bombshell.

‘We were talking about Peer’s affair and my friend apologised for being the one to introduce the woman to Peer on a night out. Then, thinking I already knew, he started speaking about the child they’d had together. I didn’t hear anything else he said after that, my mind was reeling.’

With the news that Peer had had a secret child all these years, Amparo did some digging and discovered her in-laws were in on the secret but no one had told her.

‘When I confronted Amparo for a second time, he burst into tears and so did I. I couldn’t understand why he hadn’t told me the truth, but he couldn’t explain why.’

After she had time to calm down, Amparo made a bold move.

‘I did a lot of thinking and realised that deep down, I couldn’t imagine being apart from Peer. He was my one true love and apart from what happened, Peer was the perfect husband. He was loving, caring, not to mention a great cook and handyman. I couldn’t let a meaningless fling ruin our marriage.’

Now the husband and wife who live in Ireland have been together 20 years.

Amparo said: 'I am so glad I chose to stay by his side. In a way, the affair had made our marriage stronger. Our relationship has been tested to the limit and I now know we can get through anything together. I don’t think you can have that with just anybody.'

Peer said: ‘I am so sorry about that time and I regret it happening. I do think our marriage is stronger than ever before. At the time, I was in the Philippines and Amparowas in the UK. I was unfaithful because I was missing something in my life, a man’s needs, and there were too many temptations. It was only sexual, not emotional.’

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