• Julia Sidwell

I can't find a boyfriend because of my addiction to sex toys!

There are many reasons why love can be hard to find, and sex toys is Elysia’s. I wrote her story for the Mirror... #sellmystory #themirror #love #valentinesday

Addicted to sex toys - Elysia Downings

Single mum admits she can't find a boyfriend as she's addicted to her sex toys

EXCLUSIVE: Elysia Downings, 28 – single for three years – has spent more than £3,000 on the gadgets during a 15-year addiction

Elysia says: 'I understand sex toys can make men feel insecure.' (Image:

A woman who uses sex toys up to ten times a day says her addiction has made it impossible for her to find love.

Elysia Downings, 28 – single for three years – has spent more than £3,000 on the gadgets during a 15-year addiction.

She said: “I understand sex toys can make men feel insecure.

“The guys have to accept that anything with batteries will always get the job done quicker and more efficiently.”

“One man I was seeing threw my vibrator out of the window during an argument. He didn’t like the fact that I was using my toys when he wasn’t there."

And Elysia admitted: “Vibrators have replaced my sex life.

“They’re often the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and I use them up to ten times a day.

“I can find myself getting a bit moody if I haven’t had an orgasm. The more I use my toys, the more dependant I become. It feels similar to a cigarette addiction when you get cravings.

“I don’t feel I should be ashamed. Some women have a thing for shoes or bags, I just happen to get my thrills from sex toys.”

Elysia says her ­addiction began as a teenager. “When I was 13 I didn’t have sex toys so I used household items instead – back massagers, toothbrushes, anything that vibrates.

“I had a difficult childhood and needed an escape. Masturbation became that for me.

“It helped distract my mind from the emotions I was dealing with at the time.

"I was 17 when I bought my first toy and straight away I was hooked.”

Elysia says: 'The guys have to accept that anything with batteries will always get the job done quicker.' (Image:

elysia downings

Elysia, whose priciest sex toy cost £100, says vibrators satisfy all her needs.

"I’m guaranteed an orgasm – or several,” she explained.

“They won’t judge my naked body if I feel self-conscious. They won’t cheat on me and they won’t break my heart.

“What I love most is that I feel comfortable exploring my body with them.

“I’d rather respect my body by using a toy than being used by a partner who doesn’t value me and then feel bad about myself afterwards.”

Elysia calls herself hyper-sexual and doesn’t like to be without her toys if she is away from home.

She said:“If I’m going away for a night or two I’ll take a discreet toy with me to use when I’m alone.

“And if I’ve been out all day then it’s the first thing I do when I get home.

“Sometimes if I’m stressed, upset or even excited, I need a release to calm down.”

Single mum Elysia, from Buxton, Derbys, is careful to hide her addiction from her six-year-old son.

She said: “My bedroom is out of bounds. It would feel awkward and inappropriate if he found them.

“But if he did, I’d be honest and say they’re toys for grown-ups.”

Last year Elysia turned her addiction into a sex toy business, Betsy Boudoir.

She said: “I want others to have the same enjoyment I do, and I get my pick of the bunch at wholesale prices.”

Elysia went on: “I’m open to finding a partner but my addiction makes it very difficult to find the right one.

“I’ve met men who find it endearing but most find it off-putting. My perfect man is out there somewhere but for now I’m happy without one.”

Just because she’s single Elysia won’t miss out on Valentine’s Day this week.

She treated herself to £225 of sex toys – including a rabbit called Nora, adding: “Who needs a Valentine’s date when you’ve got sex toys for company?”

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